thoughts @ 2am
I sometimes am the type of person who worries a lot and overanalyze over the littlest things. Sometimes it’s a necessity because our job requires it - we handle different types of people and we’re expected to see "growth" while they’re under our supervision. It’s a difficult job.
And it *is* very stressful. A few years ago, I see this job as a way of socializing, meeting new people, learning new things. Everything felt new back then - I was getting used to being outside every single day. It was nothing, I enjoyed every second. It felt like I was just playing, while getting paid for it.
After 8 years of doing this job, it now a different story. I have climbed up since then, felt the same way, but eventually felt how difficult it is to be looked up to and be expected a lot from. It’s even more difficult when you don’t have your friends around to keep you stapled to the ground.
It’s my 3rd call center. I am grateful that I have a job, and I am happy with all the experiences that I continue to gain the longer I stay here. But everything just gets so damn monotonous! There are days when you practically drag yourself from your bed, to the bathroom, to the office. When you’re at your desk, you just stare at the monitor til you find yourself dozing off while your eyes are still wide open. And then you do your stuff and you zone out again from what you’re doing and it’s another cycle of staring at the monitor, yawning in between and wondering if you’ll get glaucoma from staring too much on the monitor.
Work’s no longer fun like it used to be. I definitely agree that fun should come from what kind of team you mold, but, can you blame me? I’m just too tired - no recognition for all the work, no vacation (pahipan naman kasi mag file ng VL!), no "good job!" for all the the effort and passion you put into the job.
I am now the monotonous office worker who wakes up at 6pm, gets ready for work, goes to work, "work",then goes home again to sleep. Boring, boring, boring. I don’t even get to talk to my bro and sisters anymore. The ony social time that I have is when I’m with Pol (thank God!).
Sigh. I really think I need a vacation. We’re planning to go to Bohol then Cebu on the 1st week of December. Baguio by November (for Pol’s bday). Can’t wait.
Back to work.
Sigh.
Joan Said:
on October 16, 2007 at 3:32 am
What about those days when you feel like the time you spend in this kind of work is not really worth it. It’s like, in my case, its like 3 years of wasted time.
When I look in the mirror, I see the oldest 29 year old adult in the world staring back at me.
Maybe that’s the reason why I am such a comic. I need to act foolish to fool myself that I am enjoying all of these.
If your idea of unwinding is going to places like Cebu or Bohol or Baguio, mine would be a place anywhere BUT HERE.
Joan
Yanni Said:
on October 21, 2007 at 10:58 am
I was watching TV this weekend and saw the Qualifications of one opening - it said, “has to be between 25-30 years old”. I realized, I won’t be able to find any work that’s not Call Center related, unless I start a business. To start a business, you have to have money. To have money, you have to know how to SAVE.
If I become too pessimistic about how I am, then I *can* look back and say that my 8 years in the call center was “wasted” time. But I refuse to see it that way as I have lived every single day of those 8 years. Not really a bed of roses, but it has become a part of my life - the road that I chose to walk along. Life is all about the choices we make, so 8 years? It’s not wasted time.
Cheer up, Ate Shaui! You just need a break from everything … maybe it’s not a long term solution, but at least you divert your attention from thinking that everything’s a waste, diba?
Joan Said:
on October 22, 2007 at 4:20 am
You’re right. I guess, me konting self-pity syndrome lang ako ngayon. By the way, I just need to react on the age factor that you mentioned in your comment. They say that 30 is the new 20’s. And besides, you and I, we never looked naman our age. We look better. Maybe it’s Ponds(that i am using)…hihi. Kaw? Mishu TL. Stay happy. You deserve it.
Joan