Think Tank

I was ranting about how we usually pour our hearts out into loving someone so bad and not getting anything in return and Shaui said this, through a testimonial:

It’s so hard to find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "…that’s her."

So very true. Where is this guy?

There are those kinds of songs that leaves you smiling and you end up singing with it, even if you feel that it’s so…. well, baduy!

I recently was browsing through my list of MP3’s and found one that gave me exactly that kind of feeling. I looked up the lyrics through Google and found out that Diana Ross originally sang this song. I made a mental note: the next time we’ll have a Karaoke night, I’ll definitely sing this one:

Wasn’t it me who said that
Nothing good’s gonna last forever?
And wasn’t it me who said
Let’s just be glad for the time together?
It must’ve been hard to tell me
That you’ve given all you had to give
I can understand you’re feeling that way
Everybody’s got their life to live

Well, I can say goodbye in the cold morning light
But I can’t watch love die in the warmth of the night
If I’ve got to be strong
Don’t you know I need to have tonight when you’re gone?
’till you go I need to lie here and think about
The last time that you’ll touch me in the morning
Then just close the door
Leave me as you found me, empty like before

Wasn’t it yesterday
We used to laugh at the wind behind us?
Didn’t we run away and hope
That time wouldn’t try to find us (didn’t we run)
Didn’t we take each other
To a place where no one’s ever been?
Yeah, I really need you near me tonight
’cause you’ll never take me there again
Let me watch you go
With the sun in my eyes
We’ve seen how love can grow
Now we’ll see how it dies

Nice, diba? hehehe.

I find myself singing it again … daydreaming at the same time too. Don’t you ever get those moments when you imagine yourself singing beside a window as the rain pours down? You see water trickling down the glass, and you feel like singing?

Ay nako. Senti. Back to work.

This emotional roller coaster will never stop.

A friend asked me:

"Do I try to pray real hard, so that someone will come my way? Someone to love me so bad, so I can be happy?"

I told her:

"I dont have to wish for anything or anyone, because whatever it is that’s meant for me, it will come to me."

I remember praying so hard for someone, wanting to be with him so bad — but at the same time, while praying, I say..

"But if he’s not the one for me, I would understand, Lord. I know you have plans for me…"

Even if things were bound to end, I continued praying for that person, so we can be together. Never worked out.

That’s why I told her that I can’t pray for someone to come into my life, I think and feel that that’s asking too much. And she tells me:

"Baka naman you’re not praying harder?"

I told her, I do! But these days, I pray because im thankful for the things I have. I dont wish for things anymore .. or wish for anyone for that matter.

One of the lessons I learned lately: Life’s too short to wish for things that you don’t need. So, live it.

Then, we both thought: Why do we ever get into these kinds of situation? And then I remember reading from somewhere, that the things you do will keep happening until you finally learn from it. God will keep letting things happen over and over until you finally learn your lesson.

You know if you already learned your lesson if you finally are experiencing LIFE! As you deserve to live it.

Just a few days ago, fate and my past reared its (ugly?) head again and caught up with me. One of the people that I have become really close to a few years ago suddenly popped into my life . Yep, like that fizz that you get whenever you drink beer.

Actually, we haven’t really talked face to face.

I don’t even know if he still cares that we are again, within each other’s reach. I happen to look up his email address that night, in my old Address Book and I checked on him by emailing him. We started ‘talking‘ on email. He says that it’s been five years since we last saw each other. We agreed that a lot has changed. Whew, that’s a LONG time!

It’s just like when you’re in the supermarket and you see someone from your batch, way back in Gradeschool– you duck and hide. You realize you have too much catching up to do and it’s better not to be seen and talk to them– maybe he feels that way.

But then again, we were such good friends back then, talked about a lot of stuff about our lives, that I am really sure that our ‘old’ issues are already bygones. I’m the type of person who shares a lot to people I have grown to love — so wouldn’t it be just normal if you see a very dear old friend again and be excited about it?

Well. From the looks of it, it wasn’t really something he cherished. Di naman ako tampo, because I agree, it’s been AGES. YEARS. EONS. Maybe he just DID go through a lot the past years. Tama ka nga, Pry. He’s just not into catching up with me anymore. Too bad.

I bought me a magazine today and read this article about "Letting Go..". It says:

"In any attachment, there’s been an emotional investment. That’s why it’s hard to let go. Think about it: It’s definitely time to move on when you do not feel accepted or appreciated."

So timely, donchathink? We’ve nowhere else to go, so we just move on.

Moving on… moving on. Get set… ready… GO!